In the name of love - My story

Anton Black
Jan 7, 2017
3 min read

PART 1

We have all been there. Many of you, have done similar super crazy things without thinking of the consequences. Because when you fall in love you don’t ask the question: what if it doesn’t work out? It does not even cross your mind. All you think is what you can do to be with that person. You talk, plan the future together and all you say to yourself: This is what I have been waiting for… And being certain that it will be forever, you make complete changes to your life, including moving half way across the globe. Do you think this is crazy? Wait till you hear the full story. October 2015, my closest friend George, who moved to Brazil the previous year, helped with the decision to take holiday time and visit him at his place. So, I get on that fifteen hours BA flight destine Rio de Janeiro. Within one hour from landing we arrived at George and Gabriel’s place. This was the first time I met Gabriel’s friend, Andre, and it was love at first sight. No need to say that we spent the rest of my ten days there together, what I was doing was not longer a worry, as long as we did it together. I know, I know this happens all the time that people meet someone while on holiday, deciding to spend the remaining time together, however, rarely people relocate themselves to another country and continent. Well, this is what I did. I came back to London. It was clear in my mind I wanted to move. So two weeks later, my flat was ready for rent on Airbnb, car sold and packed much bigger bags, I was back at Heathrow this time to leave for good. This was the beginning of a new chapter of my life.

You must be thinking I am mad. That surely I should have thought about it a little longer, that it is insane to take such life changing decision without asking anyone else’s opinion. How can you move in with an other person without even knowing each other a mont? If it wasn’t me in that position I would have a similar reaction. Despite it I stopped the rational thinking and put the heart in charge, showing clear in front of me what was best. It was not just me anymore, it was us. When you are in love, you don’t think about yourself anymore, but about the other too. The World adjusts around the two of you because the important is making the other happy. That makes you happy. The heart was right! My heart had to be with his other half. The best was that us both were excited to be with each other, without the need of anything or anyone else. Life was beautiful and I meet friends and family, we re-decorated our place, bought a car and made plans for the future together, telling how much in love we were and how much better we made each other lives. This was all I ever wanted!

Almost a year later... Although you should have taken it into account it could come to a close, however, it can take you completely off guard when you need to face the reality. In some cases no matter how hard the two try, relationships simply don’t work-out. It is easy to start feeling terrible about hurting the other, sadden by the feeling you failed. You don’t accept you have to face the reality: things have ended. While you keep fighting hoping things will get better, you try anything, you stand any behaviour, you want to be understanding: things have ended! Now, what? The last period is always the hardest. You don’t want to let go. It drains emotionally and as a consequence it debilitates fiscally: everything becomes more difficult. I should have know better. How did I let this to happen? You start questioning your judgement on situations and people. Those of you who live far from their home, friends and family, know that also the little problems seem to be much bigger. The fact that you cannot confide what is happening to anyone sucks. Friend’s support, advice, the help from someone outside the relationship who loves you can be vital. Only someone from the outside can pull you out. You don’t realise every day you start losing interest in what happens around. The feelings of guilt or low self-esteem, start taking over. I must have an angel up there who made me escape that state for a few moments. Then I realised I had to get away before it was late. I got the first flight to London available. Thirty-six hours later I was back in London. I knew that returning to London was best. But I didn’t know how hard it was what was yet to come.